Here is a wonderful letter to us from a recent graduate of our ManKind program.
“Thank you, Mankind.
When I first came to Mankind, I did not think anything was off in my behavior, I had the victim mindset, and felt that I did not contribute to being on the wrong side of the law.
I started out thinking that I did not belong in Mankind, and didn’t really think I would get anything out of it, and going into the class, I told myself ‘I’ve never hit a woman, why am I here?’
Much to my surprise, after about 3 months of attending, I started to relate to the other gentlemen in the group, and not just that, but I decided that I needed to be there. I felt like I could relate to everyone in the class, including the facilitators, and at that point, I was fully engaged.
During the year of my participation, I learned to unlearn my destructive, and violent behaviors, and own up to my actions, and was quick to notice that my relations with people improved dramatically.
I wasn’t the only one that felt this way, many of my friends, family, and colleagues also directly told me that they saw and experienced a change for the better. Within the class, I have made new friends, and developed a support system, and engage with them regularly, and really enjoy sharing and reminding my peers that they have a friend who understands, if they need to talk.
Two of the most helpful skills that I practice on a daily basis are reflective listening, and non violent communication. When people I have known for years started noticing me put these skills to use, they were blown away. I was able to make this change by practicing the skills and tools I learned on a daily basis, and conveniently for me, I have several opportunities to do this at work, socially, and at home.
This class has not just helped me identify the forms of abusive behavior I display, but also stop them, and I am forever grateful. I now start every day and relations with new people intimate and not, with the peevsss in mind, and use the STOP tool whenever I enter a fatal peril, which happens a considerable amount less than it used to. I learned the fundamentals of healthy and equal relating, how to identify when I am going into hitman, and even as much as how to unlearn the patterns I learned that are abusive.
I think that in some ways, I need to accredit myself for applying and doing the work from the class, but the fact that it was made available to me, is without a doubt because of Mankind, the Marin County Courts, and Probation Department.
I know that because of the Mankind class, I am now conscious of the patterns and signs of my abusive behavior, and I believe I can help others recognize their patterns as well, and plan to try. I am very proud of myself, and I know that those around me are as well.
For the rest of my life, and in every relationship I enter, I will keep what i’ve learned close.
Thank you Mankind”